1、老婆晚饭后在看电视,她突然看了一个新闻给我念叨说:老公,你来看看这个新闻,里面说一年轻男子因酗酒掉水里淹死了,你以后可别喝酒了。我当时看都不看的说:你不懂,他那是被水淹死的,可不是酒!说完后,我就仿佛感觉到了一丝杀气……
2、本人为学生汪,今天质检,要分班考,很紧张。考试的途中,老师拿着椅子坐在了我的附近,我在写着作文,突然,老师那个地方噗的一声,我看着老师,老师也看着我,原谅我笑出了声。
3、我警告你 我跟你生气的时候 你就不要跟我嘻皮笑脸!!!你一笑我特么就会跟着笑 这样显得我很没面子!!!!
好不容易上来的...
4、我是个罪人,中午在阳台晾袜子的时候不小心掉下去一只袜子,伸出头一看掉寝管大爷的碗里去了...大爷那个咆哮啊!!!袜子不敢要了啊!!!大爷我真的不是故意的啊!!!
5、#搞笑段子#有个记性不好的人乘火车,列车员前来检票时,他竟找不到票了,急得满头大汗。列车员说:“找不到就算了,再补张票好了。”他说道:“这怎么可以,找不到那张票,我就不知道我要去哪里了!”
6、老王从梦中醒来,突然想到忘记吃安眠药,他从瓶中取出两片安眠药,自言自语地说:“怎么不吃安眠药就睡了。
这勺子可能早产了
7、“为什么我听音乐有一种窒息的感觉。”“请不要把耳机塞在鼻孔里。”
8、大悲咒在网易云都要黑胶会员,我佛不渡穷人,还是努力赚钱吧。
9、老婆脾气急,一上火就摔东西,可是每次摔完后又悔恨。这天,老婆又发火了,拿起筷子打了老公几下。老公恼火了:打我干吗?老婆:打你几下会死啊?老公:那倒不会,不过疼呢……老婆:疼一会就好了,又不花钱,你想想,东西摔了就坏了,还得花钱买呢,要会过日子…
有趣的灵魂万里挑一
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骑手:啊?放到女尸头旁边
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吃个糖把假牙搞掉了
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试问哪个女生小时候没有往自己的指甲和耳朵上贴过这些呢?
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学术蝗虫:所到之处,寸草不生。
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把菠萝蜜卖出新境界了
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医学生见了要按耐不住蠢蠢欲动的手了
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你……你们……没用高德吧,千万别让它给记录上了。
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第一眼:谁那么好心,好有爱
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猪朋狗 友还点了几个鸭
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学校里面的早八人救助站
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不知道看上百万的电视是什么体验?
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睡觉时的加拉帕戈斯象龟,像不像上了一天班的你?
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出来吃个面,被店家上了一课。
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当代法学生就业现状
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三个人出去玩的比心方式
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这HR的上班精神很值得学习
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我都快要被业主群笑死了
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这个文件夹放的是不是学生的论文
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